What is Glom?
"What exactly is Glom?" you might ask yourself. "It sounds like some sort of mystery meat. Well, you're not wrong in some respects. Glom is the product of friendship, no food in the house, and an adventurous spirit.
It all started as a play for hamburger mac and cheese. My dear friend, Kaitlin, had invited myself and two of our mutual friends over for an afternoon. Now, Kaitlin is a terrible cook. I've had to ban her from her own kitchen on several occasions for this reason. But she insisted that she knew what she was doing. "I'm a camp counselor," she said. "I know what I'm doing," she said. Only one of those things was true, and it definitely wasn't the second one. At camp, one of the things the counselors learned how to do was cook meat over a fire. When faced with an electric stove (which is definitely the same thing as an open flame), Kaitlin was confident in her abilities as a campfire chef. It didn't go well.
After an eventful first few minutes, my then-girlfriend and I muscled Kaitlin out from the kitchen and took over. It was the wild west in that kitchen, and anything was fair game. Pasta was boiled, assorted cheese were thrown into the mix, absolutely no measuring cups were used. It was pure chaos. But when it all came to an end, we had managed to make something kind of good to eat. None of us contracted food poisoning, so that was a lovely surprise. After that, my dearest and dumbest of friends (still Kaitlin) worked to improve the recipe on her own. It was a trail and error process, but the recipe has come a long way since its conception. It's since become a Thanksgiving staple in her household and an absolute treat make and enjoy.
Ingredients
- 1/3 lb. Ground Beef
- 1/3 lb. Pasta
- 2 oz. Velveeta cheese
- Shredded Parmesean Cheese
- Milk
- 1 egg
- Minced Garlic
- Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Salt
- Pepper
- Gator Done
Directions
- The first thing you're going to want to do when preparing this recipe is to prepare the pasta. You can prepare the pasta and the ground beef at the same time, but I have found that it often takes longer for the pasta to boil than for the meat to cook. The instructions for how to cook the pasta will differ based on the kind you use. When Kaitlin and I make Glom, we prefer using macaroni noodles. Typically when making this meal, the smaller and more macaroni-shaped your pasta is, the more fun it is to eat once it's finished.
- Once the pasta water has started to boil and you've put the pasta in the water to cook, it's time to cook the meat. In a separate pan, cook the ground beef at medium temperature with the minced garlic.
- Once the pasta has been drained and the meat has been prepared, add the cooked meat to the pasta pot and mix the two together.
- The next step is to add the Velveta cheese. It may seem like an odd choice of cheese, but the Velveta acts as an adhesive agent for the Glom. When other kinds of cheeses were used, the results were...less than satisfactory. The Velveta doesn't have to be softened beforehand. It will start to melt as soon as it's been placed in the combined pasta-and-meat pot. As the mixture begins to congeal, pour in the milk. There is no concrete amount of milk that we have decided upon. Our motto when it comes to cooking (and cooking Glom especially) is that anything is on the table. There is infinite room for experimentation with different ingredients and different amounts of ingredients. In our case, I just pour the milk into the pot for roughly two seconds and that's that.
- Keep stirring. You're almost done! This is the time where you can apply the garlic powder, onion powder, Gator Done, salt, and pepper to taste. (Note: Gator Done is completely optional. However, if you want to add it to your Glom it can be purchased here.)
- It is time for the egg. Crack that bad boy into the pot and stir it in! The egg adds an extra bit of flavor to the Glom. Don't worry about the egg being raw, since the Glom conglomerate is still fresh from the stove, the egg cooks just from being in the mixture. Stirring the egg in and breaking up the yolk serves to quicken the cooking process if anybody's worried about consuming raw egg. Don't be! I've eaten Glom plenty of times and I'm not dead yet!
- Top off the whole thing with a fresh sprinkle of shredded parmesean cheese. It's one of our favorite cheese and is purely for fun and for flavor. Substitute parmesean with your own favorite cheese! The world is your oyster! And by "world" I mean Glom. And by "oyster" I mean cheese. Like I've said previously, have fun with it! You're the one eating it right now, not me.
- Enjoy!
